Unbearable uncertainty: The agony of waiting for the hostages

Recently, a team of Christians for Israel Germany went to Israel for a week – to support, to listen, to comfort. In short – just to be there as a friend in times of need. The need has never been greater.

Even though 18 hostages / the first hostages in Hamas captivity for more than 15 months have been released in stages since January 19 and further releases have been announced, for the vast majority of the relatives, the fear for their loved ones is far from over. How are they doing? Are they still alive? These questions are constantly present at the “Family Forum” for the relatives of the hostages in Tel Aviv.

“It is not only the trauma of October 7 that causes those affected unbearable pain…”

“It means so incredibly much to us that you are here, especially now!” says Merav, who welcomes us. This is a sentence we hear over and over again during this week. But everyone says it differently and afresh, from the bottom of their hearts, with some effort, with burning eyes. It is not only the trauma of October 7 that causes those affected unbearable pain, but also the fact that Hamas has managed to present the victims to the international public as the actual perpetrators.

Merav introduces us to Ety and Brith: Itay Chen’s aunt and cousin, from Kibbutz Nachal Oz. “Itay was in the army. He was also a great basketball player,” says Ety. “He was on duty with a tank unit near the Gaza Strip on October 7. They saw the hordes of terrorists coming and targeted them. At some point they ran out of ammunition.”

Merav (r.) speaks about what relatives of the hostages like Brith (l.) go through | Photo: Christians for Israel

Helpless waiting
It was not until four days later that the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) got to open the tank. They found one soldier dead inside, the other three had disappeared. “When my brother called to say that Itay had been kidnapped, we were strangely relieved at first,” says Ety. “But six months later came the dreaded knock on the door. A representative of the army brought us the news that it was 99% certain that Itay was no longer alive.”

“As a listener, you can pull yourself together for a while, but then the emotions suddenly hit you”

The family remains hanging in limbo because Itay’s body is still being held captive by Hamas – knowing full well how important it is for Jews to bury a dead person with dignity. “You need something to hold a funeral – at least a T-shirt that the deceased was wearing. We have nothing. I’ve forgotten what my own kitchen looks like. The family forum here has become our second home,” says Ety. “Itay was the kind of person who always spread good mood around him,” says 15-year-old Brith. “I’m an only child; Itay was like a brother to me.”

Ety (l.) and Brith (M.) are waiting for certainty: Is Itay really dead? | Photo: Christians for Israel

As a listener, you can pull yourself together for a while, but then the emotions suddenly hit you. I have three different hand-knitted scarves with me, just in case. I can immediately see which belongs on whose shoulders – the orange one for Ety, the white one for Brith and the purple one for Merav, who is wearing all black. God’s fatherly love seeps through the knitted pattern.

Trying to comfort – a tight hug from Anemone Rüger for Brith | Photo: Christians for Israel

A moving look
We are already in the lobby on our way out when we are asked to wait a moment. Someone wants to see us. The next minute, a senior gentleman stands in front of us and introduces himself as Dani, Omri’s father. Omri from the Nachal Oz tent. His fight for his son has taken him all the way to the Pope, unfortunately without any visible success. Nevertheless, this meeting meant a lot to Dani. “I saw my father in his eyes,” says Dani. “It was a sacred moment. We have one God, I believe that.”

Dani (2nd from right) has not received any sign of life from his son Omri since October 7, 2023 | Photo: Christians for Israel

Dani’s family came to Israel from Iraq in 1951. Omri’s family was together in Nachal Oz when Hamas attacked on October 7. “Then they were separated. The terrorists took Omri with them, leaving his wife and two young daughters behind. They witnessed everything.”

We hand Dani our card: “ISRAEL, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” Everyone has signed it. Everyone hugs Dani goodbye. “As a father has compassion on his children” – these words from Psalm 103 suddenly come to my mind, with a modified wording: “As a father fights for his children” … and goes to the ends of the earth for them. Thank you, Dani, for showing us the heart of the Father!